• Basha

pre-Saturn's return pt. 1: What are my values and convictions?

Updated: Mar 8, 2020

Under this week's Gemini moon, I received a lot of insight from Colin Bedell, one of my favorite Gemini Twins. The way he expresses his intellectual prose on Queer Cosmos gives me major TEDTalk vibes, and always leaves me inspired to write about something - ANYTHING.

One of his most current posts titled "My Saturn Return Story," succinctly summarizes his most recent 3-year chapter of Saturn transiting through the sign of Capricorn (where his natal Saturn is located).

With only two weeks left until Saturn enters Aquarius, Colin generously provides us with wisdom, from Dr. Brenee Brown, as to how we should approach this infamous Astrological transit.

"In order to be seen, heard, known & understood for who we authentically are, we need to start gaining clarity on two things: our values & our convictions."

Colin talks about how when he created Queer Cosmos in 2017 (in the months leading up to his Saturn return), he was aligning himself with his own personal values & convictions.

"[I wanted to provide] a space for queer people to really question [...] the shared assumptions around sex, sexuality, gender, and relationships in Astrology." -CB

As an almost cruel twist of fate, he was soon after fired from his day-job. It seems Saturn was asking him: Are you willing to stand by these values and convictions, no matter what?...

"My conviction is that you can liken your Astrological chart to your innate nature. My conviction is that nature supports nature[...] This cosmically ordered universe and ecosystem is an intelligent nature, and it is obligated to make sure that I express the best of my Astrological nature." -CB

I took that as a very optimistic way of stating that even though he was fired and on unemployment, Colin believes that the universe was simply putting him in the best position to truly bring his values & convictions to fruition.

" On my last week of unemployment - 6 months after I got fired - I received my first literary contract for an Astrology book [Queer Cosmos]." -CB

And so, just as his Saturn's return began, Queer Cosmos began to manifest rapidly.

I take it as a good sign that, just as Colin began investing in his passion-project in the months leading up to his Saturn's return, I have also been investing in personal passions (this website)!

It only seems appropriate that i'll be using this space to navigate my Saturn's return. Afterall, Basha the Vagabond was basically my online journal documenting one of my Jupiter Returns / quater-life crisis. [Still ongoing, by the way.]

But, lets get back to the matter at hand: What are my values & convictions?


One of the many cool things about the practice of Astrology, is that it provides insight into our values based on where the planet Venus was at our time of birth.

My Venus in Sagittarius further confirms my innate nature to value philosophy, religion, idealism, optimism, adventure, and - most of all - the freedom to do whatever the fuck I want to do.

Growing Basha the Astrologer into a thriving business is something my Sagittarian Venus strongly desires.

My Venus would absolutely love for me to spend my days philosophizing about astrology, mythology, and storytelling. Not that I don't already do that, but my inner Aphrodite would definitely love it more if I was getting paid in the process...

My Venus also wants me to start travelling again - specifically to the homelands of the mythologies I wish to explore. I know, it's only been 1 year, 4 months, and 1 week since I officially "settled" here in Valencia, Spain, and I'm already gunning for my next destinations...

Rome and Greece are a given for Western Astrology.

And of course I will need to start diving into Egyptian and Turkic Astrology & Mythology at some point - to honor and understand my ethnic roots. But then there's also Norse mythology, Native American legends....a literal whole world of mythology is out there, waiting to be explored.

Thanks to Astrology, I know my Venus super well by now. She knows that me working for myself also supports her desires for freedom on multiple levels. Freedom from authority, freedom from working on things I don't believe in, and freedom to roam as I please.

Fortunately or unfortunately, my Sagittarian Mars is all-too-trigger happy to answer to my impulsive Venus' every beck & call (like booking a flight to backpack through New Zealand on a whim, for example).

Even though I have to constantly keep both of these functions in check, I trust them to constantly keep me aware of weather or not I'm in alignment with my true values.

And, who knows, maybe Saturn's return to Aquarius will help me in managing my fiery & airy impulses into productive & creative projects

MY CONVICTIONS?...Where to even start?

The thing about being a beginner-Astrologer is that I do often get stumped, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have no clue what placement of an Astrology chart speaks to our convictions.

When I asked Aliza Kelley, she responded by saying that I would first need to define the word.

My intiutive Sagittarian definition of "conviction" - which I derive from having seen the word in many contexts throughout my life - is a firm sense of knowing.

If I had to guess, I would say this definition aligns with Jupiter's functions.When I checked the dictionary.com definition, I was ecstatic to see that my intuition was kinda spot-on:

conviction [noun] - a fixed or firm belief, faith

Is knowing the same as faith? Perhaps. If one can differentiate that there are different types of "knowing," - logical knowing, and intuitive knowing. Conviction seems to fall under the realm of Jupiterian intuition; what we intuitively know to be true.

When I asked Colin himself, his response was to look to a blend of outer-planets for convictions. More specifically, Colin says he draws insight from his Jupiter, Uranus, and Neptune placements. While I don't know enough about his birthchart to speculate what insights these planets provide for him, I can definitely investigate my own.


"The key words for those with Jupiter in a water sign like Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces are imagination, creativity, intuition and emotional healing." - by TANAAZ on Forever Conscious

The semi-sextile between my Jupiter and Venus seem to be vibing here. My intuition is trying to directing me towatds creativity.

Here's the thing about intuition though: we are all born with it, but it can become clouded throughout our lives. Trauma, emotional suppression, and denying our insticts can distort our intuition - making us see everything through a dark & warped lense of fear and anger. When my Jupiter return took place in 2017, I felt all my traumas re-surface through my psyche. It triggered one of my biggest depression episodes to date.

I've only started going to therapy about a year ago, so I am only at the beginning-process of healing my traumas. I can only hope that, in turn, I am also beginning to re-attune my innate intuition that drives me towards creativitey.


According to Elizabeth Jones of Star Pathways, our Uranus & Neptune placements are two of the most intuitive fucntions of our birthchart.

"Uranus is the planet that rules Aquarius as well as the higher mind where genius and innovation originate. When we tap into Uranian intuition we are using the mental body to link to the higher mind." -EJ

Jones states that we usually tap into our Uranian intuition when we are working with technology and the realm of all things mechanical.

On the other hand, Pisces' ruler Neptune, funtions in the more abstract, mystical, and emotional realms.

"Dreams are often a vehicle for how Neptunian intuition seeks to get through. I have found it is common to receive Neptune's intuitive hits when near water [...] the element of the emotional body [...] Art and creative processes can also be avenues for Neptune intuition." -EJ

The ways in which both of these intuitive forces operate in Capricorn is an extremely interesting symbolism, since the sign of the Sea Goat is has the ability to climb the highest mountain of earthly acheivement, and dive to the deepest depths of the oceans of emotional mysticism as well. Capricorn's goal is to build a legacy, and its specific type of intuition support's its quest for independece and economic security.

Since Saturn rules Capricorn, and Uranus rules Aquarius, my Uranus in Capricorn and Saturn in Aquarius are in "mutual reception" - both hanging out in each other's sign of rulership.

And, since Uranus has rulership in both earth and air signs (Taurus & Aquarius), Uranian intuition may be more comfortable operating in Capricorn's earthy terrain than I originally thought.

As for Neptune, the deepest depths of the ocean are his domain. I can see Poseidon and is trident vibing really well with Capricorn's Sea Goat.

So it seems, my Uranian & Neptunian team in Capricorn have the potential to hold their own weight of the sign's elemental duality.

I've spent the past few days contemplating how my innate inner convictions want to be expressed in these watery and earthy terrains... I don't think I have my final philosophy yet, but I am starting to see a general outline.

Jupiter in Scorpio is probably telling me to continue on my path of emotional healing; it just may be the key to unlocking an abundant source of intuition and creativity.

Uranus and Neptune seem to be further supporting this theme of healing trauma. I see the duality of Capricorn, Uranus & Neptune's earth & water realms as serving to emphasize that both terrains are interconnected. Weather our watery, inner emotional world is in tranquil balance, or turbulent chaos - the same exact state will be mirrored externally in the earthly realm of achievement.

This alignment reminds me of the principles of occultism; as above, sobelow ; as within, so without.

"Walk with faith & walk with trust. Even if I cannot see what the universe is doing behind the scenes, [my conviction is that] nature is supporting my nature [...]
Saturn's lesson is telling us that, even when the critics and naysayers are telling you to sit down & shut up, you will continue to stand up for your values and to speak your convictions." -CB

Stay tuned for part 2 of this writing series, where I will continue tounpack insight from regarding this Astrologically infamous transit: The Saturn Return. This time, I will be drawing from the wisdome of Aliza Kelley...

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